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September 2008 
THESE ARE MY ZAADZ
Posted on Sep 4th, 2006
by 
ROD
ROD
These are my Zaadz – Molly Mylauren and Ray Emerson. These two were made on the two occasions that I didn’t practice the Lock of Tantra Yoga.
One day these two Monks knocked on the door and said Molly’s the Incarnation of the Bodhirodva, the Buddha of Rock and Roll and Silliness.
They wanted to take her back to Tibet and train her to be a Llama. I don’t care how much money might be involved there was no way I was gonna let some Monks display my child in a Tibetan Zoo and make her act like a Llama. Weirdos. So I got 'em drunk.
To my surprise, Monks are into the ladies. We sat around talkin’ smack and reading old Playboys. They told me about this ancient secret Tantra trick. I’ll give you a hint…It has something to do with that low guttural chanting they do. I tried it on the wife…DOOD, she hasn’t touched a credit card in a month and I haven’t had to do the dishes either. The last time she smiled this much was when I rented the Gorilla suits and we played Hide-the-Banana. FA-REEK-KAY!!! That’s how we got this guy.
Oh yeah I want give a shout-out to the Monks, Lobsang and Nagawang, Y'alls my BOYS!
Only organic for my Boy! It’s not vegan, though, that’s an animal by-product. Num, Num, Num.
He’s down right tipsy from boob…I remember those days.
If you want to know where LOVE ONE ANOTHER comes from…for me, it starts right here and moves outward.
Love One Another Y'all
p.s. Thanks for the shirt hook up Obi. You're an Uberdude. You Rock Bro.
Access: Public
Hillarious! And cute kids, too!
And you’ve got an excellent point at the end there. I’ve always thought of unconditional love as the ability to extend the same feeling you have when looking at your kids outward to apply to everyone.
Children have so much to teach… if only we listen…
Hey Dood! My toilet has been backed up for weeks. I think I found where you hid the banana. You must have been practicing the “Yawning Hippo” pose or something. At first I thought I'd found my flashlight that I use for work. Negatory good buddy. But it had batteries in it. Glad to see your naadz make great zaadz.
E Buzz goofin'
E Buzz-
My naadz are at my command. I given them the stand down order - permanantly. I'm 42 man. I can't keep up with these two ankle bitters as it is. No more. Done.
I want my batteries back.
Thanks TimD and Alex for your comments. Muy mucho amore.
Cute kids. Thanks!
Love the pics! They're great! Beautiful family of yours there. Great to know those children will contribute to the world's future. It adds hope!
Love and Peace,
Charity
Thanks for bringing such amazing gifts to the world. They are beautiful! I second Charity…..good to know the future is in such blessed hands!
And you my friend…….are one FUNNNY dood! :) Thanks for always bringing laughter and joy!
Yeah Dood. I did the “Planned Parenthood” Operation Berry Snip thingy too. Sick bastard kept telling Loreena Bobbitt jokes and dropping tools on the floor all the while giggling like a school girl and saying, “oops!” alot in a thick German accent. Just wrong on so many levels. And the ultimate humility came when I got home not realizing how he finished the job. I dropped the trousers for the wife and low and behold a Barney band-aid on my guys. Barney!!! I asked for Big Bird dammit!!!
E Buzz - my master-
I really appreciate the visual, Bro. Barney on your Barnacles. Thanks for that one. I'll be skipping supper tonight.
You misunderstand me however. No snippy snippy for me. I use the Tantra Lock at will. Mastered it going on over 12 years. That's right ladies. Do not fear. I come in Peace. Pun intended. A collective OOOOOeeeeee is heard about Zaadz. Sorry ya'll - no sensor sometimes.
This is awkward following that last exchange. But…thanks Spirit Flower, Shelly, and Charity - sweet words. I appreciate it. Sincerely.
E Buzz you are the master and I am not a Jedi yet. I'm with you if need a second in the rainbow wig department.
I love you man. (said with the proper beer drunk slur)
IIIIIiiiiiiIIIIiiiiiiIiIiIi lLuuv ooo toooooooooOOoo *hic!* Dooood…………………………………..*hic!* yep. I jus though……..t ooo zhood knooooow that man….. And IiiIiiiIii mean…..*Blaarrraaappaaaararraappal!* drip. drip. drip………….*Blaaararrrraaapaaparraap!* Sooorry man….I'll gg-get oo sumore shoes doooo………………………………….
*hic!*
Focker out! *Thok!*
Rod and Erik,
What a colorful exchange and thread full of your unique and amazing sense of humor. You must have recieved too many tips on enlightenment from Swami Beyonfaghandi…
I would look to these wonderful zaadz you are blessed to have and grow with love as your mentors, teachers and gurus for their beauty in and out is a joy to behold.
Thank you for sharing such amazing pictures, experiences and fun with all of us,
D a r i n a :)
Darina
Thank you for adding some sweetness and poignancy back into this comments thread. Erik and I kinda took it off course. My apologies folks. Boys will be boys. In our case infants will be infants.
Your the best Darina - JOY BRINGER!!!
That was so great for my head. Beautiful pics!! (hey..how do you do multiple pics in one blog?). Anyway, that really was super and funny as h*ll. Sweet.
I'm a little late here. Just don't call me “Late For Dinner”…hell, I don't care. There's nothin' but love for me anyway!
Well Rod, it seems appropriate to say…your rod rocks! (Sorry, it was just sitting there in my sick little mind!)
I too am believer in birth control from without, and especially, within. I found it interesting though that it was at the times when you didn't practice the sacred art of Tantra Yoga that these two beautiful Gifts became a part of your life! And that you say that they, and your lovely wife and yourself, are the source for Love One Another! I'm not saying anything, just noticing.
Yes, it gives me hope to know that such beauty and potential exists in the world!
Thank you for you Rod.
Mark
Ah not quite Grasshopper-
I was practicing Tantra when the bodies of these Beings were created. I simply wasn't practicing the “Lock.” Big difference.
I can tell I'm gonna be sorry I opened my big Tantra mouth. Oh well…
Thanks for the comments Mark. Glad they give you hope. They have that effect on me too.
Wow, I just learned so much about so many dudes here at Zaadz! :) Love the blog, love the kiddies, and I'm glad to hear that everyone is as dirty-minded as I am! You're rockin the force ROD!
Does that tantra lock thing really work? Can girls do it to? Good information to spread around for sure! Maybe you should start a pod about it!
Yes Ma'am it do work. Two bullets two kids. It's our only form of birth control so practice and vigilance are very important. Gawd I hope my in-laws don't read this…be some splainin' to do.
The lock helps men to cultivate Tao. Women are the embodiment of Tao, no lock necessary. It's a ying and yang thang. I don't feel qualified to teach and again sorry I opened my big mouth. No pod coming from me.
The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity is a great explaination of these practices and principles. Changed my life, YO!
What a beautiful family. Thanks for sharing their glorious and joyous smiles.